Home (Eren Jaeger X Reader)

* A little backstory on the reader before indulging further into the story:
Your parents are named Jason & Isabelle. They're a pair of very strong Recon Corp members under the direction of Corporal Levi.



“You’re going on another expedition again?” You ask in a quiet voice, trying not to let the betrayal leak into your tone, and hating yourself when you can see the guilt in your parents’ eyes. You don’t think about how you're allowed to feel these emotions, given that it has only been a few weeks since they returned and you had been hoping for a few months of getting to spend some time with your parents. It’s been awhile since they’ve been able to get together and have a normal, casual conversation, given that you spend most of your time in various friends’ houses and your parents spend their time fighting for the survival of humanity.

“I’m sorry sweetie,” Isabelle apologizes, although you don’t sense the genuine emotion of their regretful words. Rather than that, you can see the dim touches of excitement in your parents’ eyes—the excitement to get back out there and feel the rush of freedom and the determination to free the human race. The abilities that you have taken away ever since your birth.

There’s always been a kind of detached nature with your family—something you've known about for awhile now. Your family can try to go on pretending like they’re normal and actually function despite what your parents’ do and what you have to do in order to compensate for that, but things are always much different underneath the surface.

“But we can’t disobey Levi’s orders,” Jason cuts in, plastering on a smile. “Don’t you want to live in a world where there are no walls? Where there aren’t any titans to destroy us and take away everything that we love?”

You are silent for a moment as you try to swallow your tears of bitterness and disappointment. You see your friends who all have normal, functional families who rely on each other constantly and you see the sympathy those families hold for you. The child of Jason and Isabelle, the pair of best titan fighters in the Recon Corps, who gave birth to a child neither of them really want or desire to take care of. No matter how much your family can claim the right of unconditional love (because yes, it is there and you know about that), there’s so much more to a functional family than just unconditional love.

“I guess,” You whisper instead, keeping your eyes fixated on the ground. “Who will I be staying with this time?”

Isabelle believes the lies, and gives out a slightly more genuine smile. “An old family friend I ran into at the market recently, who were so kind about letting you stay with them until we get back.”

“Yes,” Your father adds in with another smile. “The Jaeger’s. They’re really nice people. You’ll like them, and they have a son that’s your age, so you’ll have fun. How does that sound?”

All you want is to spend a day with your parents. A real, normal day that doesn’t consist of titans or 3DMG training or questions about the outside world; but how could you say something like that at a time like this?

So you muster up a small smile and nods. “Sounds fun.”

.

The Jaegers live on the other side of town, in relatively comfortable estate nestled in between other homes and children who play out on the streets consistently. Given your rather quiet neighborhood, you almost feel awkward and uncomfortable in this new setting as you follow your family up the steps to the household you’ll be spending the next few days of your life in.

Isabelle knocks on the door and at once, a kind looking woman around your mother’s age steps through. The other woman has long black hair tied to the side and a wonderfully enticing hazel eyes, and you know immediately that this woman has never seen a titan in her life.

“Isabelle!” The woman greets with a smile as the two embrace. “How are you?”

“We’re about to head out,” Isabelle updates as she moves to the side to display you. “Thank you so much again for taking care of (Name), Carla.”
Carla waves aside the concern. “Of course!” She kneels before you, and you stiffen a little at the small display of affection. Your parents have never done this to you before—never talked to you, always down on you—and it leaves you momentarily caught off guard. “I’ve heard so much about you, (Name). It’s nice to meet you.” She offers her right hand.

You take it. Slowly. “It’s nice to meet you too.”

Just as you're looking back up to study your parents, Isabelle leans down for a second to peck you on the top of the head. “We’ll see you in a few days, sweetheart, okay?”

You shift your gaze from Isabelle to Jason, and swallow down your bitterness once again—the bitterness that your parents are leaving you for freedom. The freedom they’ve longed for ever since your birth. Titans are important to your parents, but the only reason they do anything is for the price of freedom.

As your parents make the departing turn to dismount from the Jaeger household, you have to tell herself more than once that you most certainly don’t care. You don’t care that they’re leaving you for the sake of humanity and the sake of tasting freedom over making sure to develop a family bond with their only child.

You really don't care, and you mean it.

.

You decide almost immediately that Grisha and Carla Jaeger are the splitting, normal, functional image that you've longed for your own parents to take on.

Grisha, although careful and almost apathetic, cares deep down about the family he’s built up and doesn’t seem to mind indulging in certain topics rather than just brushing them off and deeming them ‘unimportant’. Carla is all smiles and kindness and corny stories about her son that is so endearing that you can’t help but grin.

“How long have you known my parents anyways?” You inquiry as you turn your attention back to Carla.

Carla sets the tea down in front of you and Grisha before slipping into the seat across from you. “Before you and Eren were born,” She explains. Although you have yet to meet the younger Jaeger son, you've heard enough stories to blackmail him to the grave. “Your mother and I met the market, where she gave me some really good tips on how to bargain for prices on overcharged produce. We’ve been friends ever since.”

“Did you approve of my mother and father joining the Recon Corps?” You can’t help yourself. You long to wonder about a version of your parents that didn’t constantly thirst after the blood of titans or the rush of freedom.

Carla and Grisha go silent for a moment before Mrs. Jaeger musters a kind smile. “When I met your mother, she was already in the Recon Corps with your father. However, I didn’t approve, given that the survival rates are always 3% in that group.” She looks down at her own cup of tea. “They’ve been against the odds for years. People look up to them.” Carla looks over at you. “Your parents are quite the legend around town.”

Before you can comment on the words Carla has presented you with, the front door opens to reveal a boy around her age—with brown hair and bright teal eyes that drink in the scene before him with surprise. This is him, you think vaguely to yourself as the boy continues to study you. This is Eren.

Carla is the first to react at the arrival of her son, given that she smiles brightly to greet Eren. “Welcome home, Eren. Did you get the firewood?”

Eren keeps his gaze on you. “Yeah…” He answers almost aimlessly as he gestures to the firewood on his back. Suddenly without a warning, he points to you. “Who’re you?”

“Eren, don’t be rude!” Carla gently scolds as she reaches over to place a hand on your shoulder. “This is (Name). We’re going to be taking care of her while her parents are out on an expedition.”

“Oh.” He plasters on a rather goofy smile before rounding the table to offer his right hand. “Hi, I’m Eren. Nice to meet you!”

You blink before you smile and take his hand. “I’m (Name).”

.

“Where did your parents go?”

“Huh?” You look across to study Eren, who is seated next to you on the wall overlooking the lake before them. It’s one of Eren’s favorite places to spend his time, a place that Carla insisted that Eren take you to visit. You had been so wrapped up in the beauty of the place that you hadn’t realized Eren was trying to drag an answer out of you. “What did you say?”

“My mom said your parents went on an expedition.”

“Oh, right.” You look down at the ground for a moment. “Well, they’re in the Recon Corps—!”

“Really?” Eren interrupts, suddenly focusing all his attention on you as his teal eyes get bright with interest. “Your parents are in the Recon Corps? That’s awesome! I want to join! Do they talk about it a lot? What is it like?”

You blink in surprise at Eren’s questions. Truthfully, you had a vague idea of Eren’s interest for your parents’ occupation—given that Carla dropped a few hints without actually having to say anything—but you hadn’t been aware of just how interested Eren was in the Recon Corps. At once, you want to go off about how dangerous it really is, about how the chances of survival for each expedition is always less than 10%, how most members don’t come back, how it can make people corrupt and drunk with the freedom of getting to travel beyond the walls. How it can mess people up, how it messed your parents up.

But instead, you grin. “It’s pretty cool, I guess. My parents taught me how to use the 3D maneuver gear, and I get to go to the Recon Corp base a lot. Do you know Corporal Levi?”

Eren makes a gasp of excitement in the back of his throat. “Of course I do! He’s killed more titans than anyone else! People say he’s an entire army just by himself!”

“Yeah, I’ve met him a few times too. He selected my parents to be on his team, so we know each other pretty well. He comes by our house a lot.”

“How amazing!” Eren sighs as he leans back on his forearms. “My mom won’t let me join. She says it’s too dangerous.”

“She’s just trying to protect you,” You point out quietly. “It’s dangerous out there, Eren. Lots of people die.”

Eren turns his head a little to give you a determined expression. “If I don’t join, who else is going to? The people here… they’re all cowards. We always have to fight, because if we can’t fight, we can’t win.”

You just stare at him for a few more seconds longer than necessary. Something inside of you stirs—is it admiration? A sudden surge of confidence for the human race?

For another second, you think about your parents and how they fight for themselves instead of for the human race, and how Eren wants to fight for the exactly opposite reasons. He believes so strongly in human beings and their ability to conquer that you can already tell he’s willing to sacrifice himself without a second thought to ensure this to become true.

Instead, you just shake your head and put on another smile. “You’re crazy, Eren.”

.

Eren is home alone when it happens—when you open the door into the Jaeger household and practically slam it shut behind you so loudly that the pictures on the wall rattle. This catches Eren’s attention at once as he looks up in time to see you disappear into the spare bedroom and kick the door closed with your foot. There is a second of silence before a punch against the door echoes through the house.

He is at his feet at once, dashing over to the bedroom door and tapping his fist gently against the wooden frame. “(Name)? Are you okay?”

“Leave me alone!” You cry from the other side. Eren stills for a second. There is an emotion in your voice that he isn’t use to hearing. With you, it’s always smiles and laughter and being positive in spite of everything going to hell. With you, he always looks forward to tomorrow when you mix up a funny story or another tale of your parents or what it was like for you to encounter a titan face to face. But this time, there isn’t any of the happiness that he’s used to. There is sadness and fear and anger, but mostly despair.

Eren tightens his nerves. He’ll find out what’s wrong with you. “(Name), open the door,” He tries again.

“Eren, I said leave me alone.” Your voice cracks at the end, so it doesn’t sound as convincing as you could probably make it on a good day.

With a sigh, he reaches over to turn the knob, momentarily thankful that there aren’t any locks to keep him away from you. Especially when you're crying and in need of something.

As he gently lets himself into the spare room, he sees you curled up on the bed with your back turned to him. Your breathing is heavy and uneven as it looks as if you're merely bringing your knees even closer to your chest.

When Eren shuts the door, you immediately straighten into a sitting position on your bed. “I told you not to come in here,” You whisper, looking over your shoulder to glare at him as Eren continues to approach you.

“I want you to tell me what’s wrong,” He starts again, firmer this time.

“God, Eren, just drop it!” You snap, the tears springing your eyes like flowers in spring. “I told you to leave me alone! I’m fine, alright?”

Without a word, Eren sits on the edge of the bed and wraps his arm around your shoulder. “I’m not leaving until you tell me,” He presses more firmly.

Suddenly, you look down. “I saw Levi at the market today,” You finally whisper. “Apparently they’re all back from the expedition. It went really badly, and Levi said a lot of people died.” You wrap your arms around his neck and bury your face in his shoulder. “My parents are dead, Eren,” You let out through gritted teeth. “They p-promised me they’d come back! They promised me we’d be a normal family! Why did they have to leave? Why did they leave me?!” Your crying progresses to something more hysterical, where the crying slips past your lips like breathing, and there are noises in the back of your throat that showcase the hitch of your intake; how there’s a little piece of yourself that’s broken and can’t ever be fixed.

Eren wraps his arms around your waist and rubs your back slowly and soothingly—like how his mother taught him. “It’s okay,” He grumbles against your temple. Despite the cold in their situation and the ice in your blood, you're so warm—so surprisingly warm and comfortable and real. “You’ll be okay. I promise.”

.

A titan reaching its hand towards you with lightning fast movement to grab you, to kill you, sparks you out of your dream as you spring up into a sitting position with a loud gasp. Your breathing is fast and your heart is racing in your chest as if you've just ran miles and miles. The tears fill your eyes faster than you originally anticipated, and your throat closes up as you choke out your pain and grief and desperation. You feel like throwing up, because you're only ten you shouldn’t have to feel this way.

Mr. and Mrs. Jaeger were incredibly, so gracefully, sympathetically upon hearing about the death of Jason and Isabelle. None of them breathed a word about something like that had only been bound to happen, even if it was something on everyone’s mind—especially yours. It makes you heated to think that your parents knew the risks, but they still left you anyways. They were just too drunk on the idea of freedom to let it change their minds.

You continues to sit up on the bed, unsure what else to do. It must only be 2 or 3 in the morning, and you have absolutely no desire to return to sleep. The image of the titan keeps you wide awake with your heart ramming against your chest as you wipe at the tears trailing down your face.

After a thought, you slowly crawl out of bed and carefully make your way down the hall towards another bedroom. Instead of knocking, you just turn the knob and enter the room, taking in Eren’s sleeping form underneath the moonlight. For a moment, you envy him because Eren longs for the freedom of being in the Recon Corps without understanding or beginning to process the loss of sanity that comes along with it. He longs to be in your position without knowing what that entails.

Still, the warmth and comfort he gave you the previous night echoes in your mind and you long for that again, despite the time.

“Eren,” You whisper at last, reaching over to shake his shoulder a little.

He groans something in response.

“Eren,” You hiss a little louder.

His teal eyes flicker open, hazy with sleepiness. “What? What time is it?” He whispers, before moving to sit up a little. “Is everything okay?”

You look away, momentarily feeling shy. “I didn’t mean to wake you. I just had a nightmare about the titans, and couldn’t sleep.”

His eyes soften before he moves over and settles back down underneath the covers. You join in soon after and immediately moves to wrap your arms around his neck before burying your face into his chest. He smells like pinewood and the green cut grass along the sidewalks. In response, Eren curls his arms around your waist to keep you close. The movement feels almost natural, like you've done this before—which should be impossible, but with Eren you almost never know the right answer.

“Thank you,” You whisper, already starting to feel her eyes close. His smell feels familiar and longing and comforting.

Without a warning, Eren leans forward to quickly kiss your forehead. “Wake me up if you have another nightmare.”

.

Year 845 might as well be the worse day of your life.

The titan over the wall in Shiganshina.

The kick that killed hundreds upon impact.

Grisha Jaeger, missing.

Carla Jaeger, dead.

“You’ll be okay,” You whisper almost desperately in Eren’s ear as you manage to board the ships taking people into Trost. Your lips brush naturally against his temple as you continue to try and reassure him, while trying not to lose your own mind. Your fingers run through his hair. “You’ll be okay.”

“I’m going to kill them all,” Eren grits underneath his breath, keeping his grip on your elbow tight. “I’ll destroy the titans. Not one of them will be left.”

.

Two year later, and you finds Eren sitting outside of the small little house Armin’s grandfather had managed to claim for the four of them—yourself, Eren, Armin, and Mikasa—to stay in until they could find better places, or better futures for themselves. It’s not a promising home, but it’s better than nothing.

Yet, you can’t remember the last time you had a proper night’s rest. It seems all you have now are nightmares that plague your mind and nothing can really comfort you. Not even the sound of their slow and even breathing that fills the air.

You can’t stop thinking about the titans, or Eren, or Carla’s death, or your parents’ death and it cripples her with fear when you think about how if that was how your parents died too.

“Hi,” You greet quietly, sliding down to sit next to him. “How are you holding up?”

“Alright, I guess,” He answers just as softly. “Next year we’ll be eligible to sign up for military duty.”

Your breath catches. Next year they’ll be thirteen, which really shouldn’t be old enough to swear loyalty to the king—but you suppose that you've always been old fashioned in this sense. “You’re right.” You look at him. “I’m going to join too. I’m going to train and join the Recon Corps to avenge my parents.”

Eren’s head shake catches you off guard. “I don’t want you to join,” He whispers, but you still hear it all the same.

It feels like a rock that drops down into your stomach. “Why not?” You inquiry. “I thought you said we’d take them on together—that we’d both rid the world of the titans. Do you not want that anymore?”

He scowls, as if your inability to put two and two together frustrates him. “Of course I want that. I just…” His scowl softens into something more raw, more emotions. “I can’t stop thinking about what they did to my mom, and how much it would kill me if they did something like that to you.” He levels his gaze with you. “I need you to be safe, (Name). I… I care about you so much, and don’t want you to die. I know it’s selfish of me, but I can’t lose anymore people that I love.”

For a moment it feels like the walls are closing in around you as you try to control her breathing. Eren doesn’t want you to join the military. He wants you to stay behind in this boring and bland town while he and the others risk their lives to kill the indestructible creatures who have already taken away so much from you.

The tears of frustration build up in your eyes as they slip past your cheeks and you try hastily to wipe them. But Eren still sees them nonetheless. “You’re an idiot,” You whisper. “I can’t just sit around and watch you guys die. I can’t just sit around and constantly have to wonder whether or not you guys are going to make it back, Eren, that’s like how it was with my parents.”

Eren is shaking too, whether it be from cold, frustration, or sadness she isn’t aware of. “Please don’t join (Name),” He tries again. He sounds more raw and broken, and you know that he’s thinking of his mother. “I want you to stay behind and be safe. It kills me that I’m being so selfish, and I can’t talk Armin and Mikasa out of joining, but I care about you so much…” His fingers are laced together and they start to shake too. “If you died, I don’t know what I would do with myself. You’re my best friend, and I want to protect you more than anyone else.”

You stare at him for a second before you blink away the remainder of your tears and crawls a little closer to Eren until there is no space between the pair of you. You lean your head on his shoulder and he wraps his arm around your frame. “If I promise not to join the military,” You whisper quietly, your voice still unstable with tears and grief. “You have to promise you’ll come back.”

He kisses your temple. “I promise that. More than anything else in the world.”

You wipe another tear. “Okay.”

.

You watch Mikasa, Armin, and Eren leave at thirteen. It feels a little like your parents leaving you, and suddenly Eren’s promise means little to you.
Eren approaches you just as they’re getting ready to leave. His smile is sad and your eyes are filling up with angry tears again.

He cups one side of your face. “Thank you,” He whispers.

You take in a breath before leaning forward to wrap your arms around his frame. “Promise me you’ll come back.” He smells like pinewood and the green cut grass of Shiganshina. He smells like home, the only consistent place you're sure you'll ever feel safe.

Eren wraps his arms around you too and buries his nose into your neck. “I will,” He reassures.

When you pull away, you press a lingering kiss to his cheek and he smiles sadly. When they leave, you turn around and don’t want to look back.

.

Levi corners you when you're returning back to your sad excuse for a home with food. It’s always the same in this town.

“I heard rumors that you had settled down here,” Levi greets, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. “Wasn’t sure if it was true or not.”

You scoff. “There wasn’t anything much left for me in Shiganshina. I don’t know if you heard.”

His eyes darken. “I did. I’m sorry. But I’m surprised you didn’t join the military.”

You think about Eren and your parents behind closed lids, but you also think about the guilt in Levi’s eyes when he had to report their death to you. How gutted he feels, and how responsible he feels for their death. So you just shake your head. “Something tells me that you wouldn’t have let me join either way.”

“Would you like to?”

Your heart skips a beat. “I do,” You whisper. “More than anything. But I made a promise to someone, and I intend to keep it.”

Levi steps forward and kneels before you. “There’s nothing left for you here,” He whispers, an almost pleading urge in his voice. “Come back to the Recon Corps base with me. I’ll teach you. That way I can watch over you, rather than letting your life rot here. You can work for me, and you won’t have to fight the titans. If you died out there too…” He hangs his head and almost laughs. “Jason and Isabelle would haunt the shit out of me.”

You laugh a little, and it feels good. “We wouldn’t want that.”

.

“What about you Eren?”

Eren looks across the dorm to study Connie and Marco, who are both eying him with vague curiosity. The boy gives out an uneasy smile in response. “What?”

“Is there anything for you back home?” Connie inquires.  

Eren nervously trails his gaze off to the side. In an instant, he thinks of you and how you promised to stay away from the war despite every fiber in your being telling you not to. He thinks about how there’s a part of him that’ll always return to you and will always look forward to tomorrow as long as the promise of seeing you was tangible. He thinks about his own promise, about how he promised to come back to you, even if it was the last thing on this planet for him.

To him, home isn’t even a physical place anymore—that place was destroyed in Shiganshina. To him, home is being wrapped up in your arms, to have his nose buried in your neck and take in your familiar scent of lavender and sunshine—!

“Well, I mean—!” He starts, but Armin interrupts him.

“He made a promise to someone back in Trost,” Armin explains with a teasing smile as Eren straightens in his bed and turns to give Armin a sidelong glare. “His childhood friend.”

“Armin!”

“Woah, really Eren?” Connie inquires bluntly, that once vague interest replaced with something more of concentration. “Your girlfriend?”

Eren turns red. “I—she—she’s not my girlfriend!”

Denial, Armin mouths to Connie and Marco over Eren’s head.

.

When presented with the choice, Eren joins the Recon Corps at fifteen without a shadow of doubt lingering above his head. It’s something he’s desired since the beginning, and a passion that’s only grown since the death of his mother and the city he grew up in.

They all ride their new horses over to the Recon Corps castle, which is nestled in the outskirts of a neighboring town and are immediately subjected to cleaning duties of epic proportions. Eren finds out quickly that Levi hates stains and dust, and before they are given the specifics of the rooms they have to clean, the new recruits who chose Recon Corps above all else are given a tour.

As the tour finishes up and each group is assigned to specific parts of the castle, Eren catches sight of a girl up ahead, dressed in the very familiar military attire (minus the cape), and she’s in the middle of cleaning the windows on the outside. Still, there’s something about her that catches Eren off guard—the way she moves and tends to every detail with care and precision, how it’s possible that she shines brighter than anything else in this place—!

The realization hits him like cold ice on a winter morning.

“(Name)?” He inquires, stopping completely in his tracks and forcing the others to stop walking as well.

“Who?” Jean inquires to the others, and when Connie turns to vaguely explain you, your relationship to Eren, and their promise, the girl turns to study them.

Eren’s breath catches in his throat, because you're taller and leaner and so otherworldly beautiful that he can’t help but stare.

You seems to catch on like him, because you too stop your cleaning to turn and face him. “Eren?” You call back, training your eyes on him as you take in his figure. Two years has definitely done justice for him, because he’s taller, more muscular, tanner, and you can see the lines of his neck as he swallows.

Your feet move on their own accord, and it feels like force brings them together as you practically crash into each other as you wrap your arms around his neck and he does the same with your waist. He buries his face into your neck and is suddenly overwhelmed with the smell of lavender. He almost wants to cry because it’s been two years since he’s held you like this and practically two years since you've even kept in contact, he’s thought about you every single day of his existence.

“It’s you,” You whisper as you bring your hands up to his hair and runs your fingers through them, just the way he likes it—and the shivers travel up his spine, just as they always use to when you played with his hair.

“It’s you,” He echoes, peppering the side of your face with light kisses. You giggles in his ear and for a moment, everything feels right.

“I don’t hug my childhood friends like that,” Jean grumbles.